Disagree on concise which was the point of my whole comment.
Read:
To the Feds, I’ll keep this short, because I do respect what you do for our country. To save you a lengthy investigation, I state plainly that I
wasn’t working with anyone. This was trivial: some elementary social engineering basic CAD, a lot of patience. The spiral notebook, if present, has some straggling notes and To Do lists that illuminate the gist of it. My tech is pretty locked down because I work in engineering so probably not much info there. I
do apologize for any strife of traumas but it had to be done. These parasites had it coming. A reminder: the US has the #1 most expensive healthcare system in the world, yet we rank roughly #42 in life
expectancy. United is the [indecipherable] largest company in the US by market cap, behind only Apple, Google, Walmart. It has
grown and grown, but as our life expectancy? No the reality is, these [indecipherable] have gotten too powerful, and they continue to abuse our country for immense profit
because the American public has allwed them to get away with it. Obviously the problem is
more complex, but I do not have space, and I do not pretend to be the most qualified person to lay out the full argument But many have illuminated the corruption and greed (e.g.: Rosenthal, Moore), decades ago and the problems remain. It is not an issue of awareness at this point, but clearly power games at play. I am the first to face it with such brutal honesty
Punchier. More direct. Adverbs are fine in moderation but this was way too many. I only wish he would’ve let me proofread this before doing the deed.
If there isn’t already an SMBC comic where an English professor supervillain threatens to blow up the Earth for the sole purpose of showing the public what a well written manifesto looks like then there should be
Writing style aside. It’s concise and doesn’t preach. It’s a statement of admission and motivation. Nothing else.
Disagree on concise which was the point of my whole comment.
Read:
Punchier. More direct. Adverbs are fine in moderation but this was way too many. I only wish he would’ve let me proofread this before doing the deed.
He did a fine job for not being a writer or even really attempting to be one. Sure it could have been better but it was more than good enough.
The writing was very bad imo but it’s the message that’s important here
Honestly, based on the class average for “political killing manifestos” it’s at least a passing grade.
It’s not an A, obviously, but met expectations and was clear in message, solid B- imo.
If there isn’t already an SMBC comic where an English professor supervillain threatens to blow up the Earth for the sole purpose of showing the public what a well written manifesto looks like then there should be
well actually
FTFY