I was the same way. I would drink tons of caffeine to slow down my brain (which made me feel productive because I could focus), but I learned to ignore the physical anxiety it gave me. I would fall asleep instantly because I was just exhausted all the time (and didn’t know, if you can believe it).
If I got to a quiet place like nature I would get butterflies and it turns out it was because I got away from the distractions of daily life and could finally feel that anxiety I learned to ignore.
Long story short, turns out I’m autistic and it was a form of masking where your body is so uncomfortable with being seen/being a problem that it will literally convince you that you’re fine. Wild. Glad I figured it out.
I was the same way. I would drink tons of caffeine to slow down my brain (which made me feel productive because I could focus), but I learned to ignore the physical anxiety it gave me. I would fall asleep instantly because I was just exhausted all the time (and didn’t know, if you can believe it).
If I got to a quiet place like nature I would get butterflies and it turns out it was because I got away from the distractions of daily life and could finally feel that anxiety I learned to ignore.
Long story short, turns out I’m autistic and it was a form of masking where your body is so uncomfortable with being seen/being a problem that it will literally convince you that you’re fine. Wild. Glad I figured it out.