• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    even as a curiosity rather than lust or romantic interest

    Right, but the implication was that she was a bombshell, or at least that’s how I read it.

    I’m talking about the bar, the laughs etc

    Eh, I care far less about what random people in a bar think than what my friends think. I can always go to a different bar, I can’t as easily get new friends, and good friends would go with me to that other bar if I felt uncomfortable after being completely shot down.

    That said, most people don’t particularly care. You might get a couple of snickers, but most just want to keep to themselves. At least that’s been the case at the bars I’ve been to.

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      If you take everything that someone says and say “oh I don’t care about that” then no argument can be made. It’s a social situation where someone getting shut down is a humiliation. You say “I can always go to a different bar” which when you don’t care about random people, you wouldn’t need to do.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        It’s a social situation where someone getting shut down is a humiliation

        Sure. I’m just saying that, for the typical person, the humiliation from others being present is probably very little compared to the humiliation from the actual rejection. Maybe that’s different at college bars or something, but in most regular bars, most people don’t care. At least for me, I’m just as nervous walking up to someone in a bar as I am at a club (even fewer people looking) or something, approaching a stranger is the main thing causing the nervousness.