An Alaska Airlines pilot who attempted to shut off the engines of a passenger plane mid-flight after ingesting magic mushrooms said his actions were “unfathomable”, in some of his first public remarks after he was indicted on 83 counts of reckless endangerment.

In an interview with ABC’s Good Morning America, Joseph Emerson described the events of 22 October as “30 seconds of my life that I wish I could change, and I can’t”.

Emerson, who as an off-duty pilot was authorized to ride in the cockpit’s jump seat, tried to disable the plane’s engines by deploying the fire-suppression system, according to the federal complaint.

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After his arrest in Oregon on state counts of attempted murder, Emerson told police he believed he was having a nervous breakdown, thought he was dreaming when he pulled fire handles in the cockpit, and said he had experimented with psychedelic mushrooms recently as his mental health had worsened.

Emerson said he had taken psychedelic mushrooms two days earlier while commemorating the death of his best friend, thinking they might help with his depression.

He said he believes he was still hallucinating and that “nothing felt real” as he was sitting on the plane. “There was a feeling of being trapped, like: ‘Am I trapped in this airplane?’” he said. “This is not real, I need to wake up.”

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The crew was able to able to subdue Emerson and remove him from the flight deck, but even as the plane descended he said he tried to grab another lever operating the cabin door. According to an affidavit, Emerson warned a flight attendant: “You need to cuff me right now, or it’s going to be bad.”