From the article:
Sadly, the woman I briefly dated is not alone in her beliefs. In a survey of over 1,000 women, conducted by Glamour in 2016, 63% of women said they wouldn’t date a man who’s had sex with another man. (This isn’t just men who identify as bi. This includes all men who’ve experimented with another man, even if it only happened once!) Still, 47% of women said they’ve been attracted to another woman, and 31% of women have had a sexual experience with another woman.
NOTE: This is not the titular study but is used to establish context.
The study can be found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15299716.2018.1563935?journalCode=wjbi20
If anybody happens to be able to find the fulltext please feel free to link it.
Yeah I don’t think this is super surprising unfortunately.
Being a man and dating men undermines patriarchial conceptions of masculinity. A lot of these conceptions are very deeply-held; I think it’s easy to consider acceptance easy when it’s academic or theoretical, but when it becomes personal all bets are off. Think of all the pro-gay parents, who, when their children come out, completely flip out.
I think there’s also, tragically, a large element of HIV stigma in here.
HIV stigma has a huge role to play in the history of the phenomena. See AIDS SPECTER FOR WOMEN: THE BISEXUAL MAN
Here’s a relevant video on the topic. I tried to post it but folks don’t seem to like the title. It’s primarily about the history there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbHhIeYL9no
Patriarchal conceptions of masculinity is aka the instincts of straight female humans.
Everyone wants to blame culture, and via the word “patriarchy” they want to blame men, for this kind of thing but it’s way deeper than that.
straight female humans.
No, this isn’t just women; it is patriarchy, the entire set of power and systems that everyone participates in. Men blame men for being bisexual at least as much as women do.
please, don’t waste words, look of his others comments, just report if you want, but i don’t they can be convised to let go the hate
To be fair, in this case I doubt they broke any rules. Speaking up always does more than downvotes. Particularly true for those of us on instances without downvotes.
Why do you say “female” but follow it with “men” instead of “male”? Makes you seem like an incel or some men’s rights nut job.
what thw fuckn i recomend you to go outside, what a bullshit, and this isn’t a pro-gender war community, stop spreading that, no, actually, go to your red pill/incel instances, just from you using “female” i can feel the misoginy, pleaae, let us alone
Our obsession with gender and gender roles infects/affects everything, and makes as little sense as obsessing about whether someone is left-handed, right-handed, or ambidextrous. Seriously, why should anyone care about how others dress, how they identify, or who they choose to sleep with?
IME there is substantial correlation between religiosity and an obsession with gender. On my more cynical days I might suggest there is a causal relationship.
The title’s message is not supported by the 2019 study.
They found lower levels of agreement with the statements around attraction to mlm, but not zero. Just less than straight men. Unless you thought women held no homophobia at all, this isn’t even remotely surprising. It’s barely interesting. Meanwhile women who rated lower on homophobia preferred bi men.
So date bi women. Or date gay men who, according to the survey, do not have the same biphobic prejudice.
This is a great point regarding the title but I do not think it is particularly productive to simply say date groups without degrees of prejudice towards yourself. Even though this is pragmatic life advice that I subscribe to, the groups you’re talking about excluding make up the vast majority of potential partners and for those who have a hard time finding queer spaces to meet people the advice can be nearly impossible to follow.
I agree, and you’re right: I’m being somewhat reductive about it. Yes, lots of people are going to struggle with finding a partner no matter what, and many will struggle to find a partner who isn’t straight in the environments where they live.
Read my advice as: if you’re worried about this AND if you have a choice, you can improve your odds by dating people who are less homophobic. Honestly, if you think someone has any degree of homophobia, don’t fuck them. That goes for men or women. And sometimes you’ll get it wrong; that’s okay, keep trying.
this is because of insecurity from these womans in dating bi-men, or they see them as less manly, and thus “weak” in patriarchy’s view?
My (bi) ex gf was quite insecure and said she couldn’t date a bi man because she would get jealous of all his friends rather than just his female ones.
Or insecurity that their partner is actually more attracted to men than to them
less manly does not equal weak.
It actually does. That’s what the whole concept refers to.
Whether it’s true is a different story, but that is exactly what is meant when a person says “less manly”. They mean less capable of competing with other men in tests of will and strength.
Women know they can never compete with another man’s love /s
Or that they are more promptly to cheat, and that they now have to care for his male friends too on top of their female ones.
First, the results indicated that straight women perceive bi men as being less romantically and sexually attractive than straight men. Second, straight women also reported that they were less likely to date and have sex with a bi guy. Lastly, bi men were perceived as being significantly more feminine than straight men.
I wonder how interconnected these two are related. I wish the study showed if less feminine perceived men were overall seeing the same trend. Also since this is looking at averages how often this trend is reversed and if there are some women who perceive this more feminine trait as more attractive or the same with bi guys.
I’ve found a lot of women don’t believe men can be “as” bi as women can be, and there’s this suspicion that if a guy has ever been (or just wanted to be) with another guy, they must be more into guys than women, and wen don’t want to have to wonder/worry about that. I think this is just a reflection of societal implications around male and female gayness being different though, that women are accepted to exist on more of a spectrum (perhaps because attraction to women feels natural to straight men, so it is less “surprising” or foreign to see even other women feel it), while men are considered more binary.
it’s more like, male on male sex is considered disgusting, female on female sex isn’t.
probably because male on male sex assumes anal penetration.
This is purely anecdotal, but I think that’s more in line with other unaccepting straight men’s reaction than straight women’s (especially since a lot of straight women are into/fine with anal too). I think with women it in many ways comes down to the fact that everyone has been conditioned to think that guys are either 100% gay or 100% straight, while it can be sexy or desirable for a women to go both ways.
Yeah no kidding. I’ve discovered the most reliable way to end a relationship is to reveal that I’m bi
