If you have no preferred pronouns, just say (none) or something

This will help make people feel more comfortable in this comm and has a side effect of showing you support trans people when making comments in other communities. It will also make reactionaries seethe and make it easier for mods to purge them, and make trans people feel safer all over the fediverse.

  • jsomae@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    Although I’m a cis woman, I have never felt especially pleased with being lumped into this category. I have never listed my pronouns before, ever, and I avoid listing my gender if possible, because I do not want the first thing people to know about me be my gender and then view me through that lens. I have always appreciated the trans community overlooks my femaleness and sees me instead. In real life daily, to my great displeasure I am lumped into one of two boxes; the internet is a welcome reprieve.

    I am not nonbinary, I do not prefer they/them. I go by she/her, but I don’t want to advertise this. I have my own struggles with gender, even if I’m ultimately cis, and forcing me to report my gender in my username seems frankly gender essentialist.

    I did not choose my pronouns.

    What should I write? (none) is wrong, because I can be referred to with pronouns.

    (ally) might be nice, except in LGBTIA+, “Ally” implies being straight, and I’m not straight.

    How about an empty ()? to indicate I acknowledge the system but opt out personally. Or something cute like (friend), or comrade (but I don’t know all the implications of that)

    • marcie (she/her)@lemmy.mlOPM
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      3 months ago

      an empty () is completely valid, imo. or even (friend) or (ally) or (any) or something. i definitely would recommend discussing with yor, she could probably help explain why this is a rule, but i get you.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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      3 months ago

      You can be a she/her NB btw. If you feel a disconnect with your gender or don’t feel connected to it, you’re free to consider yourself trans.

      Anyways, I don’t see any problem with avoiding pronouns. Personally, I used to be in that camp - I wanted to be supportive of trans people, but I didn’t want to list he/him, but didn’t think I was trans enough to use other pronouns… So I just did not put them.

      (ally) might be nice, except in LGBTIA+, “Ally” implies being straight, and I’m not straight.

      This could be interpreted as aro/ace erasure/exclusion btw by putting the word “Ally” so close to the acronym.

      • jsomae@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        Aro/ace are valid and are LGBTIA+. What I mean is, “ally” implies straight, and I’m not.

        Gender is a spectrum, and I consider myself cis, even if there are others more cis than me. Most of my troubles with gender come from me feeling society is at fault for treating me differently because of my sex. I think most educated women express such opinions, and that doesn’t make us enbies.

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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          3 months ago

          Fair. I think it’s quite reasonable women hide they’re women on the internet given how they are often treated. Just wanted to point out NBies are a wide spectrum and what pronouns you use doesn’t need to dictate your gender.

          Guess it could it be comparable to being a 1 or 6 on the Kinsey scale and not considering yourself bi because the label doesn’t convey any useful information about your attraction? Imo, which label you choose at that point is up to you and I don’t think it seems biphobic or NBphobic to choose one of the binary labels.