• PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee
    48·
    1 month ago

    I can’t grow a full beard for shit and am thinking of looking into permanent removal

    My stache though is hilarious, if I grow it out without the beard I instantly look like I’ve aged myself 40 years. Something not helped by the fact that my chosen look is suspenders on a tucked in button down and alternating on khakis vs jeans.

    I look like microbrewery ned flanders.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      30·
      1 month ago

      I’m so confused. I’m just imagining you clean shaven, and a full head of fabio hair. But then you stop shaving, and the hair starts growing out of your face, but the longer your face hair gets, the shorter your head hair gets. Until eventually you’re totally bald up top.

      Yes, my imagination IS very cartoonish.

        • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de
          4·
          1 month ago

          My brother is balding and has full facial hair. I have a full head of hair, but can’t grow anything beyond an embarrassing teenage stache.

          • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
            6·
            1 month ago

            This feels like an unaired pilot for a 70s comic book saterday morning superhero show.

            “WITH THEIR RINGS COMBINED, THEIR HAIR GROWS IN MODERATION!!! THEY ARE, BABYFACE JOHN, AND BALD JOHNSON!!!”

            Ok, definately need new names. I was trying to go for “John Johnson”, except you’re both two half of it…

            But somehow I made your brother into a name that sounds like a well cleaned penis.

            My username makes sense now, doesn’t it?

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
        4·
        1 month ago

        If comment-OP concentrates for a minute, they can “flex” inward. Their Fabio-hair is drawn inwards and so is their facial hair until they seem completely clean-shaven. Then with a gasp they open their mouth and a long vine of hair spews out to strike down their enemies. Once the villains are downed, they can “flex” the hair back in through their mouth, and push it out of their head and face like before to look totally normal. They’re planning to become a superhero soon, but they just can’t think of a good hero name.

    • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
      10·
      1 month ago

      If it helps, my beard was super patchy underneath the 3 feet of hair that completely covers it up if it still is. Growing facial hair for most people is about being able to get through the patchy part. Movember helps if you want social cover. By the end of that month, if it still looks bad, you can decide then if it’s worth continuing or shave it off when everyone else does. Secretly, that is pretty much the whole point of movember, a socially sanctioned event where no matter how bad it looks, you aren’t supposed to shave it off. And it’s for awareness of men’s health issues. But mostly the first thing, hehe.

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        3·
        1 month ago

        When did “no shave november” shorten to “movember?” I missed that one (though tbf I’ve been doing “no shave 15yr” so I don’t watch closely lol).

  • Cam@lemmy.worldEnglish
    449·
    1 month ago

    I can’t grow facial hair

    As he is sucking down a soy latte.

    • yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de
      332·
      1 month ago

      Friendly reminder that the soy thing is a right-wing nutjob obsession because soy contains phytoestrogens - plant estrogen - and they believe this increases your human estrogen levels.

      Unfortunately for trans women, that is simply not true. Phytoestrogens are just too different in structure from human estrogen to (significantly) activate estrogen hormone receptors and may even inactivate them in some cases. Most studies suggest very little but conflicting effects or no effects at all.

      The soy obsession is because soy is a common alternative to dairy products and from an East Asian plant, triggering right-wingers fragile masculinity and inherit racism. They’re desperate to paint it as feminine so the only thing they could possibly latch onto is that it contains something named after estrogen - the FEMALES’ HORMONE!!!

      If you want to temporarily have more estrogen receptor activations, just drink a latte with cow milk, since dairy contains plenty of cow estrogen which is quite similar in structure to human estrogen.

    • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
      131·
      1 month ago

      I’m lactose intolerant and drink soy or oatmilk lattes fairly frequently. My beard was solid before I figured out my intolerance and has been fine since I figured it out. If all it takes for beard trouble is a bit of soymilk you should probably talk to your doctor.