• SirDerpy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    10
    ·
    4 months ago
    1. A father jumped in a river to save his children, succeeded, but then drowned.

    2. A few years ago I risked a felony to save a life because there was no one else.

    3. These grandparents had empathy for their grandchildren.

    None of these deserve accolades. Each met their obligation to provide basic human responses to the given situation.

    Grandparents that, without trans family, recognized the hatred they’d been sucked into, perhaps even recognized it as counter their religious ideology, rejected the system in wider scope on principle, then quietly tried to keep running their ideological race: That’s my hero.

    • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 months ago

      Yeah, all of these deserve accolades, because we want to encourage empathetic behaviours. Minimizing someone’s actions when they do the right thing implicitly sends the message that it’s not important or valued to do the right thing.

      • SirDerpy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        4 months ago

        While I understand and agree that some should receive personal encouragement, this is public accolade which is obviously quite different.

        I’ve higher expectations for individuals I choose to trust and for society in general. Meeting the minimums for humanity isn’t good enough. The majority of the comments in response are exemplary of how we fail each other, and thus fail as a society.

        • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          If you aren’t training people–publicly–to meet the minimums of humanity, people aren’t going to learn it. This is the entire emotional labor argument, writ large. People will say, “I don’t owe you the emotional labor to explain this”, or “you need to educate yourself”, but the reality is that if you don’t, no one will.

          No, it’s not fair. But life isn’t fair. If you want thing to get better, then you need to be better, and you need to keep working to make shit change, instead of expecting everyone to be better on their own. The people that are intrinsically motivated need to motivate all of the people that are extrinsically motivated.

          • SirDerpy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            I believe I’ve invested the emotional labor to explain myself quite well: Good job. But, you need to do better to earn public accolade.

            That’s reality. Though some are still learning they’re not children to be coddled.

        • acosmichippo@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          if the goal is to try to reach other conservatives with this message, it has been shown that social normalization changes behavior better than shame or fear. they need to see their peers change their minds.

          • SirDerpy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 months ago

            This makes sense. But, lemmy isn’t a MAGA, conservative, or leftist audience. It’s a neoliberal audience. My response to the OP is exactly what it should be.

      • SirDerpy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        8
        ·
        4 months ago

        The only people I’ve told were individually rationalized as part of them understanding the potential risks, benefits, and expectations associated with the magnitude of presence I had in their life. In general, most are better off if I don’t communicate freely, including myself.

        If someone provides an acceptable-to-me explanation of why it’d benefit society for me to tell this audience that story, then I will.

        • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          11
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          4 months ago

          You could just say “I made it up because my parents starved me of attention when I was a kid”, it’s shorter

          • Agrivar@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            4 months ago

            Nailed it. Homeboy here thinks nobody deserves accolades for doing the right thing… his own “story” is as real as Santa Claus.

            • Illuminostro@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              4 months ago

              Narcissists are all pathological liars, because like you stated, they were starved of attention as children.

        • Nythos@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          The only people I’ve told were individually rationalized as part of them understanding the potential risks, benefits, and expectations associated with the magnitude of presence I had in their life

          We’re strangers on the internet, what are we going to do? Track you down and get you arrested for a potentially embellished to fake story?

          • SirDerpy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            potentially embellished to fake

            Imagine my perspective knowing such is the audience’s perception.

            Some nuance is better kept outside the digital world and individualized.