Not that I hate myself, I’m just weird (like positive vibes weird, but still weird), so shit doesn’t always play out like I want it to… like the interviewer may have a nice rack, and her nipples may be showing cuz the AC in the room is set to “dante’s hell” temp, so… I just stare at them. I don’t want to, but I can’t bring myself not to do it… and then the questions go by and I space out and then I’m excised from the interview.
This totally never happend, just a theoretical example 👀.
I may be on the spectrum, who knows… that’s not a field that is that well developed where I live, so practically, short of dumping a lot of money and flying over to a western country to get myself checked, there’s very little anyone can tell me here. Hell, ADHD is news here, lol, people still don’t know how to diagnose it, so they go abroad 🤷.
Did you actually try though? Most people who think this is bad advice, are too afraid of what people will think to actually be themselves, and instead present how they want to be perceived. Which doesn’t work.
The advice “just be yourself” also doesn’t always guarantee success, but it does mean you’ll wind up surrounded (everyone’s definition will vary here, could be 1-2 people) by people you like, rather than those you just pretend to.
It depends on the environment. In school and professional environments it’s usually not good advice. Once you’re old enough to go into the world and find your people, then it’s good advice.
I am surrounded by people who like me, I am myself in front of them, they know how fucked up I can be. The problem is everyone else in my life that I have to put on a face to get by the day. Work is a perfect example. Like I really wanna murder (or at least hit really hard) that brainless little readhead from HR that still doesn’t understand how to open up a folder (explained 20 times over), so bugs me to do it, cuz it’s too much of an embarresment to tell her colleagues to do it… that sort of thing.
“Be yourself” is pretty good advice, be the best version of yourself so you don’t have to act all the time.
“and everything will be fine”, well that’s wishful thinking they can’t guarantee it but maybe they see something in you that makes them think you will succeed.
I’m not a crappy person, I’m just weird (pointed out by other fellow humans many times). Example, sometimes I make people uncomfortable by asking questions that they might not wanna give the answer to. The problem is, I actually don’t see anything wrong with that, but I have made an effort over the years not to do that. Still, that’s not me, that’s a mask I put on so I can be more socially acceptable.
I’ve been in the wrong place my entire life. I was born in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I’ve ever belonged here. And then I see people in other more stable countries and see how they function on a day to day basis and I realize more and more that I’m just not cut out to live where I currently live. Here, you gotta have strings in every single government agency, ministry, whatever, in order to survive… cuz everyone tries to fuck you over a million different ways, so you gotta watch your back all the time. I’m just not designed like that. It’s like someone did a lobotomy on my brain when I was born an threw that EQ part of it in some dumpster. I’m socially friendly and I love hanging out with people, but when it comes to seing red flags or signs that something bad might happen, I’m just… a complete dummy. Years of hanging out with all sorts of people have corrected this side of me, up to a point, but it’s still not good enough. I really feel like I was just born without that gift, unfortunatelly, a gift that so many people rely on (at least around here, street smart is the way to go here, otherwise you’re fucked). And I’m just tired… just tired of endlessly lagging behind everyone esle around here. I’m not stupid, I know I’m not, but being smart has nothing to do with being street smart… unfortunatelly.
That being said, I beat myself over for years why sometimes so simple social concepts or warnings escape me, but are so blaintly obvious to everyone else. But, I stopped doing that. I just set different goals for myself. I am obviously born in the wrong place and my brain is just not wired to think like people do around here. I have tried, I really have, but I feel like I’m always miles away behind everyone else. I currently can’t leave this place, my wife doesn’t want to leave, and we have a son, so it’s not an option right now. But as soon as the kid is a bit grown, I am definitely out of here.
And the fucking heat… can’t fucking stand the heat 😭… every fucking summer, every god damn summer, it’s the same story, over and over, 45C on a good day 😭. We didn’t even have snow this winter, it barely went below 10C.
Be youself and everything will be fine.
“Just be yourself!”, if I hate myself, why would being myself make anyone else like me
Not that I hate myself, I’m just weird (like positive vibes weird, but still weird), so shit doesn’t always play out like I want it to… like the interviewer may have a nice rack, and her nipples may be showing cuz the AC in the room is set to “dante’s hell” temp, so… I just stare at them. I don’t want to, but I can’t bring myself not to do it… and then the questions go by and I space out and then I’m excised from the interview.
This totally never happend, just a theoretical example 👀.
Thank you for making me feel less autistic than I am.
I may be on the spectrum, who knows… that’s not a field that is that well developed where I live, so practically, short of dumping a lot of money and flying over to a western country to get myself checked, there’s very little anyone can tell me here. Hell, ADHD is news here, lol, people still don’t know how to diagnose it, so they go abroad 🤷.
…
Did you actually try though? Most people who think this is bad advice, are too afraid of what people will think to actually be themselves, and instead present how they want to be perceived. Which doesn’t work.
The advice “just be yourself” also doesn’t always guarantee success, but it does mean you’ll wind up surrounded (everyone’s definition will vary here, could be 1-2 people) by people you like, rather than those you just pretend to.
It depends on the environment. In school and professional environments it’s usually not good advice. Once you’re old enough to go into the world and find your people, then it’s good advice.
I am surrounded by people who like me, I am myself in front of them, they know how fucked up I can be. The problem is everyone else in my life that I have to put on a face to get by the day. Work is a perfect example. Like I really wanna murder (or at least hit really hard) that brainless little readhead from HR that still doesn’t understand how to open up a folder (explained 20 times over), so bugs me to do it, cuz it’s too much of an embarresment to tell her colleagues to do it… that sort of thing.
And you can’t yell at her, cuz she’s in HR 😒.
This advice isn’t meant for work settings, so it’s no surprise it doesn’t work there.
Except when you ask for advice for an interview and people tell you to just be yourself like that will actually help you get a job
Exactly… it won’t, chances are you’ll never ever get any job if you be yourself.
They should have pointed that out when they gave the advice.
“Be yourself” is pretty good advice, be the best version of yourself so you don’t have to act all the time.
“and everything will be fine”, well that’s wishful thinking they can’t guarantee it but maybe they see something in you that makes them think you will succeed.
Maybe, who knows…
My mom gave me this advice. None of the advices she has ever given me have ever panned out right.
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I’m not a crappy person, I’m just weird (pointed out by other fellow humans many times). Example, sometimes I make people uncomfortable by asking questions that they might not wanna give the answer to. The problem is, I actually don’t see anything wrong with that, but I have made an effort over the years not to do that. Still, that’s not me, that’s a mask I put on so I can be more socially acceptable.
deleted by creator
I’ve been in the wrong place my entire life. I was born in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I’ve ever belonged here. And then I see people in other more stable countries and see how they function on a day to day basis and I realize more and more that I’m just not cut out to live where I currently live. Here, you gotta have strings in every single government agency, ministry, whatever, in order to survive… cuz everyone tries to fuck you over a million different ways, so you gotta watch your back all the time. I’m just not designed like that. It’s like someone did a lobotomy on my brain when I was born an threw that EQ part of it in some dumpster. I’m socially friendly and I love hanging out with people, but when it comes to seing red flags or signs that something bad might happen, I’m just… a complete dummy. Years of hanging out with all sorts of people have corrected this side of me, up to a point, but it’s still not good enough. I really feel like I was just born without that gift, unfortunatelly, a gift that so many people rely on (at least around here, street smart is the way to go here, otherwise you’re fucked). And I’m just tired… just tired of endlessly lagging behind everyone esle around here. I’m not stupid, I know I’m not, but being smart has nothing to do with being street smart… unfortunatelly.
That being said, I beat myself over for years why sometimes so simple social concepts or warnings escape me, but are so blaintly obvious to everyone else. But, I stopped doing that. I just set different goals for myself. I am obviously born in the wrong place and my brain is just not wired to think like people do around here. I have tried, I really have, but I feel like I’m always miles away behind everyone else. I currently can’t leave this place, my wife doesn’t want to leave, and we have a son, so it’s not an option right now. But as soon as the kid is a bit grown, I am definitely out of here.
And the fucking heat… can’t fucking stand the heat 😭… every fucking summer, every god damn summer, it’s the same story, over and over, 45C on a good day 😭. We didn’t even have snow this winter, it barely went below 10C.
deleted by creator