• breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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    1. Cut the cake into portions equal to the number of attendees. Maybe a couple more if you want to save a few slices. Everyone gets to enjoy cake at the party
    2. Grab a fork, and eat it alone. At a party. All the attendees just watch as you gorge yourself on far more cake than one person should consume. Take the rest home and freeze it so you can continue to be the only one to enjoy it

    Capitalists see nothing wrong with option 2.

      • ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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        Pfftt, amateur hour. You’re not a real capitalist success story until you’ve hoarded enough wealth to afford hiring a poor person to do your fork-stabbing for you.

        • ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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          Nah, Just claim you’ll give them enough to one day hope to have as much cake as you, then only let small crumbs fall so the government has to step in and feed them for you.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          You can also have them go out and stab those who try to make they own cakes and cut you out of the equation.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      CUT MY CAKE INTO PORTIONS
      EQUAL TO THE NUMBER OF PEEPS
      MANY SLICES
      SO YUMMY
      THIS IS THE BEST PARTY

      • Deconceptualist@lemm.ee
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        Capitalist version:

        CUT MY CAKE IN NO PIECES

        THIS IS MY SOLO TORTE

        IT’S JUST FOR MY

        OWN EATING

        DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF IT MEANS THAT I’M GREEDY

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          Cut my cake into pieces
          I’ve eaten my solo tort
          All for me, no sharing Oh did you think I’d be sharing?
          Do you even care if I die eating?
          It would be right, it’s always right
          To hog the cake to myself
          Let the proles eat what they might
          All the cake is out of sight
          And I’m contemplating a second plate

          Cuz I’m eating my cake, Eating my cake
          No one else is eating my cake
          Eating my cake, eating my cake
          No one else even needs a plate

    • fayoh
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      Of course each attendee in scenario 2 will give you two cookies for participating.

    • Guru_Insights99@lemm.ee
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      Hey there, pal! Gotta say, I respectfully disagree with your take on taking a slice of cake under capitalism for yourself and not sharing it with other people. Now, I’m not here to rain on your parade or anything, but let’s dive into this and have a little chat about it.

      Now, you mentioned capitalism, and boy, oh boy, that’s a whole can of worms right there! Under capitalism, my friend, you gotta work to eat that slice of cake. It’s not just handed out willy-nilly. I mean, think about it – in a capitalist society, resources are distributed based on productivity and the market’s demand. You work, you earn money, and then you can reward yourself with that scrumptious slice of cake.

      Sure, it might seem unfair to some, but it’s the system we’ve got for now. So, instead of complaining about not getting your cake without doing anything, why not channel that energy into working hard, improving your skills, and securing your own slice? It might not be the easiest path, but it’s the one that capitalism lays out for us.

      Now, I’m not here to push any specific ideology on you, but it’s essential to understand the underlying principles governing our society. And as someone who majored in Economics, well let me just aay i feel I am certified in this field. So, my friend, let’s strap on our work boots, embrace the capitalist game, and earn that slice of cake together!