Unsure if your snack gets the David Seymour tick? This will clear things up.

Please keep this handy for when Seymour starts coming after parents who feed their kids Quinoa and hummus charging them with child abuse.

Remember folks. Only feed your kids high carb, high fat, fried, nutritionally empty foods.

Also of course no vegetables of any sort.

  • eagleeyedtiger@lemmy.nzEnglish
    191·
    8 months ago

    It’s a sad state we’re in that we have politicians in power who unironically use the term “woke”.

    • BalpeenHammer@lemmy.nzOP
      5·
      8 months ago

      I decided that tomorrow I am going to eat some middle eastern food tomorrow and create a woke explosion so loud David Seymour will hear it and send his anti woke army after me.

      I am going to eat couscous, bulgur, hummus, parsley, tomatoes, cucumbers, dates, and use all kinds of woke spices like sumac, cumin and cardamom. I am going to drink pomegranite juice, and espresso and maybe even a chai latte. I think I might even wear some middle eastern clothing if I have anything resembling that in the closet. I am hoping that’s going to be woke enough to alert him but I might have to rely on avocado toast with a poached egg and wilted spinach as additional weaponry if it doesn’t work.

    • Dave@lemmy.nzM
      4·
      8 months ago

      In NZ we have names for cheddar based on age.

      Cheese, colby, edam, mild, tasty = NOT WOKE

      In this list, mild and tasty are both cheddar. In the UK tasty may be called “sharp”, though in NZ you can get a pretty wide range of sharpness between brands all labeled as “tasty”.

  • Fizz@lemmy.nz
    6·
    8 months ago

    I hate how he was justifying removing the program a few weeks ago and now he’s walking around talking about how good it is. All he has done is cut quality.

  • exocrinous@startrek.websiteEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    Coffee is woke because it keeps you awake and chamomile is non-woke because it makes you go to sleep. Toast is also woke because it’s a great breakfast food. But bacon isn’t woke, because meat is murder.

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nzEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    But I fed my kids red quinoa on Monday, and last night we had manuka smoked garlic hummus on our harissa lamb.

    I now will submit to the government reeducation camp, I am clearly a degenerate and need to be “corrected”.

  • mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    4·
    8 months ago

    I stopped reading when he said hot chips aren’t woke. You don’t even know the rules of your stupid, made-up game.

  • Lee Duna@lemmy.nzEnglish
    4·
    8 months ago

    Damn, a 40-year-old man is a boomer and he became a minister. This really sucks…