This has been a brilliant discussion and thankyou for posting about this issue. I’ve just read it now and it all resonates with me very strongly. It seems I share a lot of the experiences posted here, as someone who was groomed by abusive parents to be their carer and worse. With both parents passed a long time now, it surprises me sometimes how fresh the anger, hurt and indignation feels. I guess I was raised with it and it never really goes away, just hides for a while.