Hi Tom,
I was just taking a look at your resume, and your experience at Deceased really caught my eye! I’m especially interested in your knowledge of being missed by friends and family. Did you know that complications from heart surgery is in high demand right now?
I’m a head hunter looking for dynamic individuals who are interested in positions at an exciting new startup, and I think you’d be a perfect fit!
I hope we get a chance to chat soon!
Turns out to be an insurance phone salesperson job 9/10.
A head hunter is how he got this job in the first place!
Dang. Even he got a new job. My “not selected for the position” emails are at 376 currently.
The new normal. You’re lucky if an actual person reads your application nowadays.
I’m so exhausted. Just shoveling resumes into the void.
2019 - Present
Professional Resume Void Shoveler
Think of resumes like SEO. You just gotta have the right key words- best way is to pull the text from the job desc of what you’re applying to
I liked feeding the details to https://www.jobscan.co/ when I was displaced ~`2016.
The unfortunate truth is that you need an inside contact for many of the roles.
I’m starting a job search today and dreading it. There are only like 5 positions open right now that fit with my skills and also pay even close to a livable amount of money, so that’s not great. Deceased sounds like a great opportunity at this point - no commute and you don’t need a living wage if you’re not living.
Nah, dude. Just wait until the deceased field gets oversaturated. All the hordes of people wandering pointlessly, everybody trampling over everyone else trying to eat the organs of the living…it’s a dead end job that’ll get worse with time.
You get those emails? Nice.
(Gets a job by knowing someone) I can explain!
You didn’t have to interview? I had to go to through three interviews!
I’d love to get an interview. All I get are rejection emails.
You guys are getting responses?
Oh wow this is real.
Nice, someone congratulated him in the comments. 😂
My retirement plans be like:
Dead end job
This man has won capitalism
I’m gonna lie and put deceased on my resume too. They never check.
Great profession, perfect 0/0 work/life balance.
Moving up in the world
Working in the cloud
Literally the opposite. Unless he goes with cremation rather than burial, of course.
The sky’s the limit!
If you have a trebuchet or cannon or something to launch the urn or casket with, sure 🤷
I mean, a rocket will get you past the sky, so…
Depends whether or not you define outer space as part of “the sky”. As a Browncoat, I say it is, adding that you can’t take it from me 😉
Shiny
Talk about job security
It’s always hard to see others living your dreams.
Guaranteed this guy talked about how no one wants to work anymore, or provided ‘insights’ on leadership/project management
IDK why I’m sticking up for a dead stranger this early but… is this kinda unfair cuz it’s just ageism? Dude might’ve been a saint or Hitler. (No, nothing in between!)
If you’re good at reading faces I have to take back the ageism accusation :)
He was a VP of some sort. You don’t get that high up without drinking a little of the LinkedIn/corporate koolaid. While he could have been innovative in his management approach, it’s unlikely given that management of people has evolved a lot recently. I’ve also worked with with a ton of people like this.
I am good at reading faces, but that doesn’t hold water in terms of assessment.
I am judging a book by its cover, but I’ve read a lot of books with very similar titles
He was in OEM sales. No mention of management or VP experience, literally the only thing you know about this guy is that he’s old and white. You’ve told yourself an entire story about this guy that is entirely fictional and are presenting it as if it’s got some merit which is pretty ridiculous.
Order job
I’m currently looking for work at the cemetery as a deceased person hmu if you know anyone hiring
Whotf is Tom Luce.
New CEO and intern and janitor at None
