“We identify you by a unique ID”

Wow, a unique ID! Is it secret?

“It’s totally top secret. It’s nine digits”

Nine digits

“Nine digits. With dashes in the middle.”

And so that’s how the social security office …

“Well not just social security. You see, to date it’s the only government institution that’s managed to deploy a database table so …”

So what?

“So we use it for everything”

How is is top secret?

“Well, it’s your job to keep it secret”

That shouldn’t be too hard I guess. But what happens if it’s compromised?

“We call this Identity Theft. It’s bad. Don’t let anyone else get your nine digit number”

Uh … my cell phone provider wants my unique ID. Is this a scam?

“No. Legit people are allowed to ask for your ID”

Legit people

“Any institutions we consider too legit to quit, ie too big to fail, are allowed to ask for it”

Okay

“And anyone else who’s legitimate can ask for it”

Legitimate

“Yes legitimate parties can ask for your top secret ID”