Someone recently told me that they sometimes feel gaslighted around me because I effortlessly make them question their beliefs and feelings. Hearing that didn’t sit well with me, especially since I’ve been pondering the question in the title for quite some time.
I’ve always been quite critical of myself and don’t consider myself a very nice person. When I discover that someone doesn’t enjoy being around me, I don’t blame them one bit. It’s not like I’m intentionally mean or abusive; quite the opposite, actually. I have very strong morals. However, this includes things like not lying, which means I always speak the truth, even if not everyone likes hearing it. I don’t conform to many social norms expected of me.
Despite all of this, I have deep relationships with several people and especially the elderly and for example the parents of my past girlfriends have all liked me a lot. But I can’t help but wonder why they don’t see me as I see myself. I worry that I’m hiding the true me so well that people don’t actually like me, but rather the facade I unknowingly maintain. Then again, a true psychopath probably wouldn’t be second-guessing themselves in this manner.
Just out of curiosity: When you say you always speak the truth, is that truth you speak always something negative?
No, it means I don’t say things that are untrue. If I can without lying avoid saying what I know someone doesn’t want to hear I prefer to do that. But if you ask for my opinion you’re going to get it.
Username checks out?
Yeah, there’s an important distinction between genuine honesty and an asshole who “just tells it like it is”.
Also a difference between “always tells the truth” and “always says all of what’s on their mind”.
Like if someone asks if they look good in an outfit , there’s a very large range of truthful replies. Some are more hurtful than others.
This was a eyebrow raise too.