I’d like to start off by saying I have autism.
Many people - autistic and otherwise - have debated whether to refer to us as autistic people, or people with autism.
I’m aware that some people with autism prefer the former description, autistic people. Personally, I don’t mind either description. I’d guess most of us aren’t that bothered, although I don’t know for sure.
That being said, the latter description, people with autism, is widely considered to be more politically correct.
Neurotypical people will visit this community, and we don’t want to offend them by using the incorrect term to describe ourselves.
/s, by the way. Never let an NT tell you what to call yourself.
I mean, it controls us like having blonde or brown or black hair controls us. Trying to act as if you have another hair color requires immense effort and resources and might damage your hair - think of a dark brown-haired person trying to appear blonde and have nobody notice.
You have to continuously dye so people won’t see roots. That will damage your hair really badly. You will have to bleach your pubes. Either shave or bleach all your body hair. Your eye-brows. And even then: if you have darker skin, people will doubt blonde is your real hair color, because they know it’s a rare (or impossible) combination. Also, bleached hair never has the variety of color tones natural hair has. For blondes, single hairs can be reddish, light brown, really white blonde etc, and it’s the mix that makes blonde.
You can never pass as a natural blonde when you bleach your hair unless people are inattentive. Yet no one complains about someole being a brunette controling them…
I feel that is also true for being autistic. It requires enormous effort to appear NT, it will never be perfect or natural, and it is very damaging to your mental health.