• supersquirrel
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    Wow, this is such a biased take ughhh, let me rewrite this in proper newspeak.

    “Last saturday an officers gun ejected from their holster after making contact with a dino toy grabber, the man holding the dino toy grabber retracted their arm from the situation and the firearm was taken along with the toy grabber. The man holding the dino toy testified in court the other day that he felt he had no other choice but to retract the dino grabber once the situation escalated from a playful dino bite to a potential non-armed dino bite attack and the firearm was unfortunately stuck in the jaws of the toy dino grabber which caused it to also be retracted. The police officer was not questioned for comment and had $500 dollars in their wallet at the time which was confiscated by local anarchists who believed the money was most certainly involved in some kind of illegal crimes at some point (a practice that surely would not be legal in a civilized society).”