My wife found out Saturday through an ancestry.com DNA test that her dad is not her actual biological father. Her mother had a supposed one time incident with a man she found on Facebook through the names on the ancestry test. Her parents separated when she was 6. She wasn’t close with her dad over the years, but there was nothing ugly about it. Now she has been getting closer with him. She doesn’t want to tell him that he’s not her biological father, as that would hurt the relationship.
I told her she needs to tell him, because honesty is a building block of a relationship and that he’s still her father. If he finds out through the test that he took too (and didn’t put it together that she’s not his), then he will be devastated that she didn’t say anything. My question is, should she tell him or not?
I’ll support her decision either way, but I think honesty is the right thing. The right thing isn’t always the easy thing. I understand that her Dad, who raised her, will always be her true father to her.
A lot of split results here. I don’t think there’s a moral difference between yes or no. Truth is a building block but it can also hurt. Question is probably going to have to be a lot more nuanced.
If she doesn’t want to, she shouldn’t have to. I don’t think if he found out that would necessarily make him upset that she didn’t tell him. I would see it as rather endearing that she didn’t want to change our relationship. But if this news is weighing on her and she feels differently around him… Is he going to be confused as to why she’s acting differently around him? In that case it could do a lot of good to just be upfront.