Bosses mean it this time: Return to the office or get a new job! — As office occupancy rates stagnate, employers are giving up on perks and turning to threats::undefined
Bosses mean it this time: Return to the office or get a new job! — As office occupancy rates stagnate, employers are giving up on perks and turning to threats::undefined
If that was an attempt at a joke, it failed.
If it wasn’t, now is the time to elaborate on it.
I told my employees to come back to work right away as soon as COVID disappeared. There are important things that they need to do around the office that they can’t do sitting around in their underwear at home, that’s not what I pay them for
Care to share a few generic examples of such important things?
Unless you have a production plant, where machines have to be handled, maintained and supervised, you’re spouting nonsense.
In the typical company you don’t need an at site presence. You don’t even need “a site”. People are not randomly walking in the premises, thus requiring assistance.
Even a maintenance service provider, with teams on the road, doesn’t need a fully staffed office. These will require depots, wharehouses, tool shops and locations for physical storage, where people really need to be, but not offices. At best, the boss - you - can be there, if the company is small or have a rotating staffer to receive paper work, if the infrastructure is still resisting to leave paper behind.
Where the work is essentially flow of information and data, there are secure channels to provide workflow and communication, be it internal, inbound or outbound.
I worked at a medical engineering company in the early 2000s and back then we were doing like that, using email, skype and fax machines. Nowadays it is even simpler.
There are far too many things to even list. Too many good reasons for people to be in the office. It improves morale and professionalism and builds an exciting company culture. Whenever I visit the office, I tell hilarious jokes for my employees to laugh at for example. Every Thursday is a themed Thursday like NFL day or patriotic day where you have to wear red white and blue, and whoever has the best outfit for the themed Thursday wins a prize. Plus we take pictures of everyone who dressed up for the themed Thursday and put it in the newsletter.
Contrast that with what employees are doing at home, probably. Not dressing up for themed Thursday, not probably even putting on pants. Not laughing at my jokes, in fact probably saying mean things about me because I’m not around. Eating cheese puffs and taking extra long bathroom breaks. Not being productive. Quiet quitting because they’re depressed about being stuck in their house all day. Not being a team player or taking pride in the company. It’s outrageous and it’s time we stop with these shenanigans and get back to work.
I asked for generic examples; no need to go into detail.
Oh, and if you are trying to pursue a career in comedy, work on it harder. Doesn’t parse very well over text. And if the text is not good, no acting can compensate for it.
Come back to work at the office and say that to my face
Sure! Remind me the address again. And I’ll make sure to take a cream pie with me.
The ol’ plzza party to make the office “fun”
If work gets done, why do you care what I have on, where I work, what I’m doing during my day? Sure, SOME people can’t be trusted, call them out with some metrics, say they’re doing less work at home, ASK them if something the problem! “You good Jane? I notice your work isn’t getting done, something going on at home? Your wellbeing is important to us at $GetYourAssInTheOffice and we’d like to help if we can” and if they still can’t be trusted, fire them. We All have our problems, we all make mistakes and need help some time.
Nah “fuck you, we have pizza, this is fun. Ruin your mental health further sitting in traffic and getting your picture taken unwillingly. You know you need money to live, you want to be homeless?”
Yeah, you’re an asshole.
No, I’m a fun and cool boss, everybody says that.