I have been diagnosed with depression and ADD. I feel like a lot of their symptoms partially bleed over into autism. I am also incredibly anxious when it comes to social interactions.
I feel like I have a decent amount of behavioural symptoms like getting upset when plans change, not liking when things are moved from where I put them, some sensory things (ex. the sound of velcro tearing, gloves rubbing against the skin at the base of my fingers, I hate making sound when I walk in public, and so on), self-stimming, getting really invested in certain niche topics, and avoiding eye contact.
There are some parts where I don’t feel like I match at all. I would say I’m better than most people at reading people’s emotions. I am good with social cues and nonverbal communication. I just over think everything afterwards.
Getting help for my depression and ADD was a lot of work and I felt like I essentially had to coach them into giving it to me so I’m just not sure if it would be worth the effort. The only benefit I could see is a better sense of self-identity but I already have a major case of imposter syndrome when it comes to what I’ve been diagnosed with and I feel like that would be even worse with autism due to the stigma that surrounds it. People saying “You don’t have autism because we chitchat all the time at work” would feel like a real kick in the nuts. I have been able to force myself to mask or get over some of the issues I’ve mentioned above so far.
Sorry if any of this seems improper. I really don’t want to sound like someone who took a “What mental illness are you?” Buzzfeed-style quiz as a medical diagnosis or someone making unfair stereotypes.
I don’t know if that’s the overall goal in Europe to repeat whatever happened a hundred years ago in 2033, but I see a lot of tendencies in various countries here as well currently, unfortunately.
However, I do not particularily like feeding this narrative of fear and making desicions based on fear. Social pressure and politics is one such aspect. I’ve been afraid of getting a diagnose during my teen years to avoid stigmatisation etc. A few more years of life experience, and I mainly see value in personal development regarding my mental health and improving life in general. Mainly just being who I am amd being at peace with it.
I can’t say too much about how it feels like to live in the US, but following politics I assume that if there’s one thing we need at the moment, it’s probably more acceptance, diversity of thought and people expressing their opinions instead of adapting or trying to fit into a system that is very exclusive.