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Gotta love the feeling when you get so depressed by the mess that you can’t get the motivation to clean up.
And this is happens on a scale from pants on a floor of a spotless apt, to the highest state of entropy
Isn’t that basic human condition? Unrelated to autism or adhd.
It’s a case of levels. ADHD and autism sit well along sliding scales.
ADHD is caused by under stimulation he brain. The brain can’t keep it’s own dopamine levels high enough levels, and so relies on outside stimulation to do this. Boredom isn’t a mild feeling, it’s more akin to a crack addict in withdrawal. Unfortunately, our fix is novelty, which has an unfortunate shelf life.
On another scale is Autism. This (amongst other things) can limit our sensory bandwidth. We can only cope with so much sensory information at once. This creates a bias towards stable predictable patterns. They are our crutches. Excessive novelty is like taking away an amputee’s crutches. They can often still walk, but it’s a lot harder, and more painful.
For both of these, the overhead capabilities can vary significantly. Most of the time, we can find a useful balance. It’s like a venn diagram, with 2 circles, we need to remain in both. Unfortunately, on bad days, those circles shrink. This can force us to choose, when they no longer have an overlap (at least one we can reach). Do we choose stability, and have a screaming, tantruming toddler stuck in our head. Or do we satisfy it with novelty, but walk the knife edge of complete sensory overload and/or shutdown.
For most people, those circles are larger and more stable. They don’t have to choose which beast to feed, and which to be mauled by.
In short, both conditions push their sufferer close to the edge on a normal spectrum. When both are pushed, we can be completely fucked over by brain chemistry.
This is so comprehensive yet so simply put, I‘m in love. Thanks a lot. Btw this would fit in our wiki. Will link to it soon.
I don’t think so. I think many people like things different ways at different times (e.g. I like work to be structured, but prefer vacations to be spontaneous or I usually enjoy trying new foods but when I’m sick I want my childhood comfort foods) but it’s usually not described as a need. Most of the time you can go along with the flow of the situation.
Not me (self diagnosed ASD), but it fits my wife to a T. It’s been quite the journey for both of us to learn how to accommodate when different “parts” of the brain are in control.
I can relate so much! I’m trying to figure that out too with my husband. Needs a lot of love and understanding and patience. Good luck to you two!
Thanks, same to you! We’ve been on this journey for a few years now, and the biggest things that have made a difference are communicating (particularly about when we’re feeling over / under stimulated) and actively working managing executive function blocks. I.e., “spoon theory”.
At the moment we’re getting pre-made meals delivered instead of trying to meal prep, since we save money on going out when we don’t manage to complete meal prep, which has the added benefits of reducing the “spoons” cost of grocery shopping / meal prep and freeing up those “spoons” for things like exercise.
