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In my experience it’s more like “because I am uncomfortable with the idea that we have no purpose, there is no afterlife, and children die of cancer for no reason.”
thinking is hard for me, but I’m antitheist. Not atheist. Antitheist. Where do i fit in?
atheist is probably fine.
if you wanna be anal about it:
atheist - there is no god
agnostic - i don’t know if there is a god and i don’t care