ALL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE LIARS I DIDNT FUCKING STUTTER.

IF THIS OFFENDS YOU I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU.

thank you for your attention to this matter

• Wayne Gretzky — Michael Scott

With posts like this I always have one question “what was her name?” The girl who didn’t like you the way you liked her.

Cause it’s clearly her fault she didn’t like you, right?

It couldn’t possibly be your inability to look beyond your own … ahem , desires… to see a woman as anything other than a place for you to put your … ahem, manhood.

Could it?

Declining birth rates are directly related to declining quality of men.

All religious people are liars.

But none so insidious and morally depraved as the American Christian.

Laser googles lol

That’s a hard pass for me

Can I run an android vm around this

Shane black was in predator

I take solace in George springers stupid ass haircut.

Every LLM is a fascist propaganda machine

Doctoring the ball is an art limited to one pitcher.

The 2017 Astros engaged in Cold War style electronic surveillance to view inside pitchers gloves without having a man on second.

Then they banged a trash can to let the batter know whether to swing or not.

Hence the Trashtros.

They earned that name. They didn’t give back their trophy or their rings.

Bregman says “he wishes he didn’t do it”

Me too.

They kicked Pete rose out of baseball. They kicked shoeless Joe out of baseball.

They won’t let Barry bonds, mark McGwire Roger Clemens or Sammy Sosa into the Hal of fame.

But the commish is like why take back the trophy “it’s just a piece of metal”

Crooked ass crooks cheated for everything they won.

Sue for more than $1.5M bro

Sue for $1T.

Fuck em. Be as egregious as them.

Where’s that block button? There it is !

My first job was working at an office supply store in the late 1900’s. I was 15 and wanted money to buy a box of magic cards (4th edition)

So my punk rock homie got me a gig there.

On my first day I was like where is B? He got me the job I wanna go goof off with him and throw things in the bailer. They’re like “oh no. b quit today. He walked into the store managers office while he was meeting with the regional manager for his monthly visit and flipped him off and told him ‘fuck you I quit!’”

A month later I played a show on a Saturday and got paid like $100 and was like wow this is cool.

Went to work in the morning and the store managers like “go grab some paper towels from the back”

I’m like ok and do his bidding carrying like 10 rolls of paper towels under my arms.

Dude starts screaming at me. I’m like dude I have $100 wtf is this.

So I’m like gonna quit but my teammate who was cool is in pain from some sports injury and he’s like “just wait until lunchtime and another guy comes in so I don’t have to climb ladders and shit”

Ok I don’t wanna leave my new homie in the lurch.

So lunchtime comes and the third guy shows up.

I punch out. Walk to the store managers office and knock on the window.

He’s in a meeting with the regional manager. I flip him off and say “fuck you i quit”

Now I’m not sure that happened a lot. But it happened twice in a row. During the same monthly visit with his boss.

Worst part I had to get my last check and was so nervous I waited til like six and brought a Wookiee sized punk with me. Just in case.

Then I bought Lagwagon double plaidinum and no use for a name making friends at the cool record store.

Then you have all the qualifications to be a mod!

I thought they were both sorta parodies of the magnificent seven / seven samurai?

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

nice.

They cheated. And they got caught.

This is a sports instance dude. For fans of “games”

In the baseball community… are you serious?

Lazy eyed Lex luthor stole his billions from the American taxpayer.

He has our shit. Literally stole hundreds of billions of dollars.

I don’t believe in god but I pray every day he’ll get what’s coming to him anyway. Call it a pascalian wager.

Where the fuck is Superman?

Time for that monthly dementia treatment

So glad my tax dollars are being used to do this instead of fixing my country.