• Zugyuk@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    You can be the change you want to see. Tell them they’re being creeps, and don’t white knight

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      I think in a lot of people’s books you’d be white knighting just by doing that.

      • Zugyuk@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I see what you mean, but I think that the lack of follow-up, or call for attention to yourself puts it in a different category.

      • Ilflish@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        The solution is for everyone else to act like school kids and treat the guy like he has a crush and make fun of him. No one likes to be told they’re sitting in a tree.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      9 months ago

      Sorry girl, but we’re all dudes in here so you’re kind of a creep for hanging out.

      ( I know what you meant :P )

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        If I still played multiplayer games, I’d just start a kick vote and leave it at that.

  • Mago@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Last couple times i played with a woman no one was disrespectful which surpriced me greatly.

    Tbf the Squad community is pretty cool.

  • Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de
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    9 months ago

    I don’t think Dota 2 is like this. At least not in NA. People just want mmr. They don’t give a shit about your gender lol

    • NIB@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I wanna believe things are getting better. I have had women speak in my dota games a few times recently and havent seen anything weird. Though to be fair, the average age of dota player is pretty high. so maybe this is why.

      • Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        I think this is the main reason. Without googling anything I’d say the average age of a dota 2 player is at least 19 (if not more) compared to 14-15 for other games.

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 months ago

      I haven’t played for a couple years but from what I remember out of thousands of hours playing I only heard a woman speak a small handful of times, it was always very surprising

      • Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        Oh I’m not saying a female player is common, all I’m saying is that people don’t treat them poorly. I have played with a girlfriend a couple of years ago and we had zero poor interactions. There are toxic people but they are toxic towards everyone. Nothing specific to female players.

    • qooqie@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Yup I’ve had the same experience with Dota 2. I can’t speak for the super low behavior score crowd, but on the high end everyone’s pretty chill.

    • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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      9 months ago

      DOTA 2 gave me a Stalker on Steam. Also a lot of inappropriate comments and insults. You also get automatically blamed more. I only play with friends now.

      • lad@programming.dev
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        9 months ago

        I’m now thinking that maybe male players should randomly use voice modulators to make it harder to assume someone’s gender

        But yeah, situation and community is a bit fucked up, and part of why I tend to only interact with my friends on-line

  • nifty@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I can’t believe it’s still a thing! I remember when Anita Sarkeesian was more in the news.

  • Dvixen@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    So true. I’ve had to leave games/communities I absolutely love because of the male gamers that can’t act with a modicum of adult, and the majority of others won’t call them out on that behaviour.

    Props to the communities that do welcome and treat us gals as fellow gamers.

  • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    It’s fun when you’re a guy who can do a convincing woman’s voice before dropping right back into a gravelly baritone.

        • GilgameshCatBeard@lemmy.ca
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          9 months ago

          I think the commonly accepted definition is the only definition there is. The term isn’t open for interpretation.

        • Aux@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Incel = involuntary celibate. A person (usually a male) who acts in a way and believes in things which potential romantic partners (usually females) find repulsive. For example, alt-righties, tankies, wannabe rapists, etc.

          • felykiosa@sh.itjust.works
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            9 months ago

            Do incels have to be asshole with women or the simple fact that they are in celibate again their will is enough to be an incel

            • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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              9 months ago

              No, those people are just a virgin?!

              Incel comes with a certain ideology. They normally believe they are some kind of sub-human, held in that position by women, beta males (men with female partners) and chads (very attractive men with female partners).

              They put a huge emphasis on being sexless, kissless, handholdless, etc. and believe all their problems and behaviour issues stem from this problem. That women won’t be their romantic and sex partners.

              From there they enter a spectrum of hatred for women. The majority of incels is probably just writing really really awful stuff about women online. But many boast how they “get back” at women in their day-to-day life. Spitting on their food as a waiter, ignoring their female classmates and talk over them in class are two examples I found online.

              Some have plans on how to murder women and some already did.

              • felykiosa@sh.itjust.works
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                9 months ago

                OK thx for the clarification. Yeah with this definition I completely agree with the original comment. Lot of people are toxic against women especially in competitive fps

          • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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            9 months ago

            You added your view of the issue to the definition. In-cel only means involuntary celibate, and there can be many more reasons why someone is, than appearing repulsive to potential romantic partners.

    • TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      If you think women don’t watch loads of porn I have a bridge to sell you.

      Shit, Tumblr collapsed when they removed porn content and women could no longer go there to have a cheeky wank. Women get horny, same as anybody else.

      Lemmy skews male because it’s a techie-dominated subset of ex-Reddit users, and Reddit was already 65-70% male to begin with.

      • antidote101@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        The porn on Lemmy is mostly weird furry stuff and still images of nude women. Most women don’t regularly look at the kind of porn that is prevalent on Lemmy.

    • metallic_substance@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The porn part of that is irrelevant and you have either a distorted or a weird, old-fashioned view of women. A good amount of women love porn

      • antidote101@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Most women don’t wank over furry cartoons and still images of nude women. Eg. The majority of what’s on /all.

  • onlinepersona@programming.devM
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    9 months ago

    TL;DR you aren’t being targeted because you’re a woman. It’s because you game

    I explained this to another person before: many gamers are too competitive for their own good. That means they want to win at nigh any cost. A simple “tactic” is make the other team make mistakes by influencing them. The best way to do so at a distance is by breaking their spirit. So you act like any attacker: you find weaknesses, attack vectors, ways to inflict psychological pain.

    Most of the time there are very few things you know about the enemy besides their pseudonym. So you attack them with bog standard things, generic things, because they are generic. However, every tiny thing you find out about them increases the attack surface. Their location, their voice, typing speed, character choice, character set (colors, theme, items, …), etc. Perceived gender is just on other thing to add to the list.

    Of course, if the gamer is losing, they are never the problem. Fault lies in others. Hence, even team mates become the enemy and the same rules apply. “If only everyone were like perfect like me, we would win”.

    It doesn’t help that online gaming is just another digital activity. People behave worse when they can dehumanize the other party and that’s what the internet does. It makes it easier to act worse. Additionally, gamers who spend a lot of time online, are not good at socializing, hence the chance of them having a partner is lower than average. To make matters worse, spending so much time in such toxic communities only propagates the behavior.

    Even if the sex split were 50/50, each gender were represented equally, or the gaming space were dominated by non-males: they are just as human and I bet the problem of toxicity would persist. Humans are nasty, disgusting, and evil. We are mostly egoistic, self-centered beings that socialize because it helped us survive for millennia. However, that need to socialize is dwindling quickly.

    If we want to tackle toxicity in gaming, there are many, many things outside of gaming that play a role which make it impossible to conceive a gaming only solution.

    CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • flicker@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I think your point of view is interesting but flawed. It’s very obvious you’re not a woman, frankly. I’ve been playing video games since I was a child, and the absolute truth is, women absolutely face more harassment than male counterparts. That’s a blog, but it links multiple studies, and you’re welcome to review them yourself.

      I’ve often found the argument that you’re making is usually the Call of Duty defense (“it’s not that gamers are racist, it’s just that once we know your race, that’s what we attack”) and it’s often used by the privileged to try and claim that everyone is a target, everyone is a victim, if you can’t handle it then stop playing.

      • onlinepersona@programming.devM
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        9 months ago

        Oh no, there are definitely racist and misogynist gamers out there, no doubt. It’s just that women are easily identifiable by their voice (or being confused for 10 year old kids), which stands out. It’s the same as having another skin color, get-up, car, that the majority of your area - it stands out.

        The article you posted doesn’t mention (nor link to a study) about how harassment changed with voice changers, which I would be interested in. My guess would be that it becomes comparable to that experienced by male or male sounding gamers - which the article doesn’t mention either.

        It’s very obvious you’re not a woman, frankly.

        I actually quit playing online games with people who aren’t friends and when I did, the mic was mostly off + other players were muted very often. Do you still think I’m not a woman?

        CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

    • tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 months ago

      I’ve seen this harassment all the time in non-competitive games though. Even on the PS3 playing GTAIV, when my character was a woman, people would follow me, two different times people added me, no one had when I was a male character. One of them messaged me asking if I was actually a woman lol. Obviously this is just anecdotal, but there are plenty of stats about this sort of thing.

      If your view is that most people are self-centered and nasty I think you maybe need to socialize with different people. Like you said the anonymity of the internet dehumanizes people and encourages more toxic behavior, I don’t believe most people really are so toxic though.

      • onlinepersona@programming.devM
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        9 months ago

        If your view is that most people are self-centered and nasty I think you maybe need to socialize with different people. Like you said the anonymity of the internet dehumanizes people and encourages more toxic behavior, I don’t believe most people really are so toxic though.

        It comes from real life experience. Growing up where I did was eye-opening to human misery and cruelty. Sadly, other people had it even worse than I did. I’ll stop there before I get too negative.

        CC BY-NC-SA 4.0