I know it sounds like common sense, but I think a lot of us grew up with parents that made us finish our food even if we weren’t hungry. So eating more than we needed was normalized, and it became difficult to just stop mid meal.
Growing up with not much also conditioned you to eat everything on the off chance you can get a full meal. This has been a point of contention with my SO several times. They came from a well off family and they have no problem not finishing their food or not using some ingredients in the fridge whereas I’ve been conditioned to finish all meals no matter what and to be able to use up everything (not letting stuff expire) stored in the fridge.
Strong “you can’t let good food go to waste” in the post-war generation, including in my own family. It’s so ingrained even in the next generations that many of us will just “finish their plate” even though there’s no necessity there. Some of us are quite well off now, but attitudes around food haven’t changed. You have to finish your plate. You can’t let good food go to waste. People elsewhere are starving. People worked hard so you could have this food. You don’t know when you’ll be able to have a nice meal like this again.
Like you, I realized the difference when I met people from different, well off, culturally food-secure backgrounds. They’d just stop eating, and throw the uneaten leftovers in the trash. Doesn’t matter how good the food was. Doesn’t matter how expensive the food was. Doesn’t matter that you could eat the leftovers later.
I had a really hard time landing on some reasonable middle ground (you can save leftovers, but you’re allowed to stop eating when you’re full, etc.). Made me realize that it’s so much more cultural than personal. Also raises questions about what we’re going to pass down to the next generations, intentionally or not.
It’s also not rocket science to figure out, how much you need to eat and plan your groceries accordingly. I seldom throw away food or let it go to waste and I really dislike, if others do.
Same. I also don’t get the people saying it’s because they’re conditioned to clean their plate. Why are you putting so much on your plate in the first place? I get if you’re 7 and your mom’s doing it but an adult should be able to manage their portion sizes.
Because a LOT of people, parents included- have disordered eating habits and pass those on to their children.
Yea that’s why I said that I could understand if you’re a kid. As an adult you have access to all the information you could possibly need to figure this shit out for yourself. It’s not complicated. I say that having grown up in a “clean your plate” household with my parents who gave very little thought to the nutritional composition of our meals. As soon as I got out of there I worked out a better meal plan and started collecting recipes. It wasn’t hard at all. You don’t even have to be perfect just keeping an eye on the amount of calories you’re consuming is 90% of it. You can do this even if you’re eating fast food all the time.
My point was, I don’t think a lot of folk realize just how many people have disordered eating, not just eating disorders that can be diagnosed.
But cultural attitudes are pretty easy to change if you can articulate them like this. I didn’t come from money or anything, any my parents were definitely strict about food, but not eating beyond being full seems as natural to me as not holding my breath until I pass out. What you are describing sounds more like ideological stubbornness than some cultural PTSD
The great depression shit again? Still is a factor in this? It cannot happen again, it factually cannot. We are more efficient at growing food than we’ve ever been.
Definitely could happen again, and will eventually happen again. All civilizations fall eventually. Current food production, transportation, and preservation is almost entirely ran on fossil fuels (fertilizer, pesticides, machinery, refrigeration, etc). Climate change will eventually make a significant proportion of current productive land unproductive. Climate change, topsoil loss, super-bugs, super-weeds, etc are also already causing problems; and many experts think the current way of doing agriculture are unsustainable.
Hmm… if you’re saying that food scarcity has been eliminated, I’m not so sure.
There’s that article on the front page right now about many millions of snow crabs dying off due to our warming oceans. I know those specific crabs might not be a daily food source for you personally but shit, it’s a strong indicator that our oceans are not doing well.
Also water scarcity is a looming problem resulting from climate change. There might be more rainfall in general but if it’s in the wrong place, at the wrong time, or in the wrong volume then we can’t use it to grow things. For example, if arable land dries out the surface becomes hydrophobic, then if you get a big downpour it can literally wash away a lot of your fertile soil.
Also, fun fact (maybe factoid IDK), cities generally contain enough food for 3 days.
I was abused as a kid and while it stopped when I was 9 cause my grandmother got custody of me I still eat as much as I have. Im 23 that shit can get in deep.
We all know the only thing you really care about is cheese Shegorath
Unless he’s busy doing the fishstick. It’s a delicate state of mind.
Yeah, seems obvious but when your entire childhood is filled with shame because “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate”, it’s not so simple. Or when you realize that eating is the basically the only joy you have in life, it’s not so simple. Or when you have to take medications for your mental health and the side effects are that you over eat, it’s not so simple. Or when you have no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work to afford anything in this stupid economy, it’s not so simple.
Simple doesn’t mean easy. Running a marathon is simple, you just keep running until you get there. Yet the majority can’t do it.
For each of the scenarios you presented, there is a simple solution:
- “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate” - put less food on your plate
- eating is the basically the only joy you have - expand your hobbies to find meaning elsewhere
- medication… side effects - count calories
- no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work - make exercise part of your commute
Each of those are simple solutions, but they aren’t easy to implement. I get it, I don’t do the above nearly as much as I should; I know what I should do, but actually doing them is another story.
Keep it up, you can do it. :)
My parents stopped with that line (but Siberia for some reason) when I asked them to mail it to those kids so it doesn’t go to waste then.
Still took me to around 10 years old I think.
Also if everyone around you is eating disordered in the same way, you might never figure it out because you have no contrast (like OP).
Also shift work messes up your eating too. So, so many ways for it to go wrong.
It is fucking simple.
If this is insurmountable you are a lost cause unless you go get therapy.
Figure out how to not impress this attitude on your children. If you can’t, don’t have children.
Simple.
Who pissed in your cheerios?
me, it was me :)
Nobody, I usually fast until noon.
These are problems that are solved long term, and they are simple to fix. Maybe not for yourself, but the next generation needs a sustainable paradigm to live with.
Plan your meals with your doctor, if medication is causing it. Make sure you know if there’s alternate medication and find out if those side effects are more or less palatable than weight gain.
Reduce your reliance on work that costs you your personal health. Start giving less until you have enough for yourself. Don’t allow work to get in the way of your life on anything but a fixed temporary basis.
Sure, these things are difficult to do if you don’t have the habit, but they are simple. It’s less difficult to teach your children to internalise these things.
It’s not about you. It’s about the society around you. Push the values you want your kids to grow up with.
This defeatist stuff about how you were taught it when you were young therefore you can’t be fixed has such a blazingly simple solution.
hey man, people have struggles. just because you don’t have those struggles, and i don’t have those struggles, doesn’t mean they’re not valid struggles for the people who do have them. a bit of understanding can go a long way. or as one of my favorite musicians once said, “a little goddamn compassion never hurt a motherfucker.”
and regardless of my personal opinion on having kids, i don’t see what it has to do with this conversation.
Lazy fatsos are downvoting this. As my psychiatrist bluntly said to me — it’s not Seroquel that’s stuffing your face with potato chips.
It’s not personal choice. Create the environment where, it’s odd that highly processed foods are the default snack. Create the environment where exercising and listening to your body is expected.
I’m saying extremely privileged things, there are people without access to healthy foods. This doesn’t get rid of everyone else’s responsibility to vote in elections and vote with their dollars.
it’s not about healthy foods. It’s never been about healthy foods. It’s always been about not stuffing your face. It’s always been about mostly healthy most of the time. Which you can only really do if you cook for yourself.
Actually not serving home cooked meals to your children is child abuse, also.
Yeah, if sugary breakfast cereals weren’t heavily marketed to families and fast foods and high fructose corn syrups weren’t heavily subsidized food items I might agree with you.
Right now it’s financially less optimal to eat right. That doesn’t mean it’s too hard to do, you just have to think about it if you can afford it.
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The hungry feeling tells you how soon to eat, not how much to eat.
And I think your stomach is more likely to tell you you’re full sooner if it has been a while since you last ate.
Yeah this is the part a lot of people here are missing. If you just don’t overeat for a week or two, that entire hormone pathway recalibrates pretty quickly and both your pre-meal appetite and fullness will trend towards being satisfied with less food.
The other thing see a lot is people who simply cannot tolerate any hunger at all. They must eat the moment they feel even slightly hungry, and this becomes an insanely powerful urge over time. It’s ok to just be hungry sometimes, especially if you are trying to lose weight.
It’s amazing how that works. I started intermittent fasting about a week ago (basically just skipping breakfast) and now when I do eat, I’m full after a few bites. So I’m eating fewer meals on top of eating less food per meal.
The stomach shrinks, yes? Has that been proven as well? I’m interested in this if you eat less you’ll require less thing.
I’m sort of the opposite I always just ate however much I felt like which usually isn’t too much, now I try to actively notice whenever I start getting hungry. So that I can start eating or at least gathering food. To avoid the bad hunger.
Also pretty forehead advice.
Notice hunger -> get food.
Eat until you are satiated not full
Eat slowly until you’re satiated.
Look up the French Paradox
Good point, I can hoover up a box of the old Reeses peanut butter ice cream things before Im satiated and that’s like 3 days of calories.
To be fair, that’s not really food my guy
I like that. It may require a certain amount of mindfulness, but I guess that’s practice.
I’ve been doing this for a while and I still get questioned as to why I sometimes eat so little. 🤷 if I get hungry I can just eat more.
You eat for hunger/appetite
I eat for dopamine
We are not the sameTime to find such dopamine from other activities. Food is fuel, nothing more, nothing less.
Easy to say but very hard to do when you don’t enjoy doing anything, even things you used to love.
Quantity of food: weight. Quality of food: health. Remember you can still get diabetes being slim. Also I guess health can be quantity if you become morbidly obese.
Don’t stop when you’re full. Stop when you no longer feel hungry.
I like this a lot. The stopping when full thing has helped, but your recommendation seems better. It may require a higher level of mindfulness and self control, but so be it.
For me it requires self control to eat.
I have ADHD and can’t remember shit. Regularly forget to eat, hate making food, eating is usually a chore I seek to finish quickly so I can get back to doing other things.
Kept me very skinny so far at 30 years old!
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What if you feel full but still hungry?
Then you have an eating disorder.
Or anxiety…
Fat people hate this one simple trick.
There are definitely high calorie low weight food out there that will make you exceed your calorie count without you feeling full.
That’s when you use your evolved prefrontal cortex and stop eating the fried chicken anyway because you’ve already had three pieces.
But but you don’t understand!!! The evil food scientists make it so that the taste is completely Irresistible to the fattest of people. /s
Yup. Just because you CAN eat 10 cookies does not mean you should.
Food addiction and other types of eating disorders are a thing. Your comment is pretty insensitive.
Yeah, I’m aware- because if I didn’t recover from mine I was going to die.
Well also being young and probably somewhat active.
But it’s a great habit to develop so you don’t put on a pound every year like the western world tends to do.
One thing that helped me tremendously since I’m a cheapskate is the realization that:
" wait, you’re telling me I will stay healthy AND save money by eating leftovers every other day!? Sold!"
It’s actually quite scary the amount of money one can save when they buy and eat food to stay healthy instead of using it to feel good ( nothing wrong with that, I just don’t overindulge in this habit)
yep. I was a rakish youth despite pounding 12 beers and chips wrapped in Naan bread and slathered in curry sauce every Saturday. I didn’t have to start watching my weight until my mid 20s.
I used to live in the US and a semi regular meal was a foot long chili dog, double jalapeño cheeseburger, tater tots, onion rings and 44 Oz cherry Dr Pepper from Sonic. I wasn’t particularly active, either. Once I hit my mid 20s I had to give that up!
So many people don’t want to accept it really is calories in vs calories out. Yes, even if you have PCOS, or whatever the fuck else. If you are somehow a genetic anomaly that does not meet this rule, please donate yourself to science after you die.
Get the Lose it app, scan in what you eat and go for a damn walk. You’ll drop.
I really hate CICO being harbored as the solution though. Diet AND EXERCISE are needed. If you do a caloric deficit, your muscles will also atrophy. If you do this multiple times (diet, maintain, diet, maintain), you will continue to have less and less muscle mass and as a result a lower metabolism, which will make it harder and harder to lose fat. So, I still say just eat healthy (whole foods, plenty of fruits and veggies, enough protein) and the calories will take care of themselves. And lift weights.
Because it literally IS the solution.
Did you you even read what I wrote? Check out https://youtu.be/cXN90cJBfao?si=JKrj3ET_L-KWJrBY
I lost 120lbs and have managed to keep it off for almost three years now. I came to the same realization as OP. Problem is I don’t have that thing, I can eat so goddamn much before I feel full that calorie counting will probably be a lifelong thing for me. Wish there was a pill or something to help because it’s a case of constant self-control.
I guess you just answered a question I had as I can’t imagine eating past the point where I am full. It is aphysical discomfort to my body. I feel like I’ve got a large rock in my gut that takes hours for it to subside. Even thought we are largely the same, we are differemt.
Yeah exactly. It’s like I’m more or less numb to the sensation of being full if it’s supposed to be a physical thing. I’ve eaten to the point where it hurts but I really feel like there’s nothing in between.
There’s some interesting research being done on Semaglutide that supposedly does exactly this. It’s showing really good results for obese people and enabling weight loss by reducing appetite.
22 year maintainer of a 115 lb loss here. In that time I have come to know my satiety feedback mechanism is broken. Realizing this, and knowing putting my weight back on is unacceptable for reasons of health, the only choice left is to get around the faulty signalling. A lot of sorts of food are off the table for me. I find if I pay close attention to things like glycemic index, caloric density, and generally cooking and eating for satiety, CICO loses some urgency. Though it still bears watching.
Convenience/fast/processed food is generally formulated to circumvent the “fixed stomach problem” and motivate folks to eat way too much. It should be packaged with a warning like cigarettes. Congratulations! And good luck with maintenance. It can be done!
Eat more fats, there’s an actual satiation response to fat.
Try slowing down your eating and consuming some tea or water at the beginning of your meal.
It takes about 15-20 minutes for your brain to register your stomach is actually full.
However, stress eating kind of derails all of this.
Man, I feel like I could have written this at an earlier point in my life. I lost about that much a decade ago with strict calorie counting and kept it off for a while, always trying to ignore what my body felt like it needed and following what the math said I needed. It became so mentally exhausting that I fell off the wagon and gained it all back (plus a bit) over the past few years.
But… My doctor put me on semaglutide a few months ago (ozempic/wegovy) and man… It’s like the switch flipped. When I’ve eaten enough, I just stop eating, no problem. Reasonable portions are actually satisfying and the urge to stuff my face is all but gone. It’s like my hunger gauge has been broken all my life and this finally fixed it.
Not saying it’s a miracle drug or anything (side effects can be a bit of a bitch), and talk to your doctor etc, but when you said you wish there was a pill…
Honestly this sounds amazing. I’ve heard of it, I think from Adam Ragusea and it seems like it would really help me finally control my over eating. I’ll look into it.
It’s a depression-era holdover in the US.
I think it’s also still somewhat related to what you eat. Over the years fast food has gotten a little less bad for you, with things like trans fat and sodium being targeted. But yeah everyone’s grandma telling them to finish their plate all the time, or face punishment, definitely doesn’t help. We teach our children to gorge themselves.
Artificial sweeteners and highly processed foods can shut off your “I’m full” safety valve.
Read the labels on the foods you eat, educate yourself.
Corporations want you to eat to excess, it’s profitable.The “I’m full” safety valve is also genetic. Some people have stronger ones than others.
And that was me thinking you should just continue stuffing your fat face even though you’re no longer enjoying the experience.
I’m now starting to think that it’s possible that OP’s problem is actually more of a neurological one.
Autistic ppl are more likely to have interroception problems
My autistic husband looks completely emaciated. He assures me he eats more than what I see, but yeah- this is a thing.
I’ve read its also a cultural thing. As in, in China it’s considered rude to finish your meal, as that means your host didn’t provide enough food. Hence you always leave something left over. Contrary to that, in western cultures, it’s considered rude to leave something of your meal, as that means you don’t like the food.
I’m Chinese and all my family and branches of relatives all tell us to finish our food and not leave any for waste, we always bag leftovers too.
When I lived in China, my gf always insisted I don’t waste any food that we cooked. We’re both pretty thin so that could be a struggle at times. But part of the reason for this attitude is because she was raised in a village area without proper refrigeration available so not finishing most cooked foods meant risking illness from food spoiling later.
Well, I could be wrong.
